I don’t know if I’ve ever truly wanted to live
I remember saying to my sister
That I’d never asked to be born
It felt like an hefty impost
One that I’d never agreed to

The noisy and openly hostile resentment
I felt toward my parents
For not understanding that
I didn’t think the world was a viable option for life
And that they had let me down
At the exact point of conception

I don’t know if that’s something
Anyone ever recovers from
And sometimes
I’m still not sure I’ve forgiven them
How fucking pathetic


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